Monday, November 28, 2011

The New Field with Supposedly Greener Pastures

I have just watched HP & The Deathly Hollow Part II and it was awesome!

I know, it's totally weird that i didn't catch it on the silver screen when it was released many, many months ago. As a true fan of HP, it's actually an embarrassment. As a normal person, I would say it's nothing out of the ordinary. 

Anyways, I am not about to comment or re-live the movie. It so happen that the bd that i bought contains a second disc with special features, interviews and such. I found it interesting that JK Rowling and i have a few things in common. Maybe it's fate that when i was thinking about what to do with my life; i saw this inspiring interview. I think i know what i should do but with any new endeavor, it scares the heck out of me to even take the next step.

Starting new is almost always difficult but i have to be brave for the sake of my own health. Emotional health; that is. 

Taking in the spirit of Maal Hijrah, maybe i should just do it. 

Good luck to me. Here we go!

Sunday, November 27, 2011

The Knives on My Back

We all know a lot of people. Most of the times, we refer to them as friends but are they really what we call them? Some of those are faces we saw everyday while some appears when favors are in need. Some are friends with benefits, some are just people you would want to shake away as soon as they come near you.

I have a friend whom I thought would be a true gem. She has all the makings of a good friend and i trusted her, though not fully because i have just known her for a few months. 

One fine day, she sold her pride to the devil and betray her friends and I.

We found out about it but she didn't know that we have. Since then, i am hearing a lot of negative things about her. I don't know if it's due to the fact that i've had knives sticking out of my back or i have been blinded by her good deeds all the while. 

I believe everyone has both the good and the bad. Personally i think i am mature enough to not be influenced by the bad of others; that i can befriend them despite of what they are. Even then, some people are somehow etched with evilness that I think staying a yard away will do more good before harm comes in your way. 

I suppose it's all up to you. There is no right or wrong. If you think that you are strong enough to pull a certain person out from the 'darkness' and shine a bright light on them, then by all means, please do it. The world needs more of people like you.

As for me and that friend, i am not that friendly with her anymore. We still said our hi's and how-are-you's but that's it. She practically crossed the line in one particular incident and i think it's best that i stay away. Far, far away.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Of Feeling and Such

Have been wanting to write but as usual, work got in the way. The fact that i only feel comfortable blogging via the laptop is also  a reason for the lack of postings. I can blog with my BB but somehow it lacks the feel. 

Like how i prefer paperbacks compared to ebooks; this is quite the case with blogging. 


Life is life, with its ups, downs and a million other unpredictable swings. I tried taking them in as much as i can, making the best out of things and move on. There were quite a number of incidents that made me wanna just quit but of course, i know better than doing exactly that. Plus, you can't quit life. 

I guess i am a little more mature than i used to be. It's a good thing; mature. I have stopped caring about what people think and say about me, most of the time. I just want to be me. A happy me. Sometimes it comes with a hefty price but hey, nothing is free in this world. Yes, oxygen is free but you still need to breathe it in. 

As far as work is concerned, i am up to my ears with work that i don't enjoy doing. Not anymore. It used to be fun and challenging. Now it's just bluergh and boring. I still enjoy being part of a project team but i don't enjoy managing it. I am much happier being a BA whom is 'less powerful' than a PM. Then again, what's a commander without his officers. Plus, it's always fun to blame it all on the PM when things go haywire. Trust me, i know the haters in my projects. They are not that difficult to identify.

Another month to 2012. I can't say it was all bad in 2011. I have had both good and bad - by grace of God. I have yet to be bitten by Fenrir Greyback nor the Cullens; I can still celebrate the yay's and whine when the bad hits my way. 

I am hoping for a better year. Better doesn't mean strings of the good and beautiful. Too much of anything can kill you. I've had may fair share of adrenaline rush; I'm resting my delicate heart for now before the kids hit puberty and start the 'i-hate-you's and 'you-don't-understand-me's.

For a start, i am hoping to be a better person; to be grateful with what i do and don't have, to be thankful for friends and foes, to be comfortable in my own skin because there's always Marks & Spencer and Dorothy Perkins, to laugh a little more even to my own jokes, to love my kids more and tolerate their never-ending questions (thank God for Wiki and Google), to stop pulling-off Deli's grey hair or risk having a bald husband and accept the fact that farts whenever and wherever he wants, to be nice to the cats and let them roam the yard more often, and lastly to write more frequently because i know deep, deep in my heart that it's the one thing i love the most.

Hear, hear!

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Here We Go Again

It has been a long, long time.

I am back to celebrate the birthday of my youngest child; today he is 10.

It has been a great 10 years and I am looking forward to see him grow into a better being. I hope I am able to help him through life and I hope I have given him the guidance he needs to be on his own. I believe he will turn out alright regardless of what he chooses to become when the time comes.

We all love him so very much; the whole of him - the good, the bad and everything in between.

Here's to a better life!

Friday, March 25, 2011

Beautiful Words

I have always admired good song-writers - they way they string the words and how they tell a story so delicately, it just blows your mind. A song is nothing without good words. A writer is nothing without beautiful stories.  

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

The Rain

I've never realized how much i enjoyed the moments before the rain starting to wet the ground. All around, everything dances to the wind as if issuing a warning of what is to come. The cool wind eases my mind, which more often than not, is full of thoughts. Things, people, feelings; everything. 

Cool, soothing breeze brings with it the harshness of rain dropping violently on each surface. Small and hard. Sometimes i feel like the rain is suppose to wash away all things discarded from us. 

The rain is an end and a beginning.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

The Careless Me

If i remember correctly, the last time i was in a car accident was almost 4 years ago. It was quite bad and i had to fork out a lot of dough to get my car fixed. Nobody was hurt - thank God!

I was in another car accident last month but it was totally my fault. I was not paying full attention to what i was doing. Too much assumption led to a disaster. The damage was not as bad the previous incident but it haunts me like a ghost. I had to 'pay' for the consequence of my carelessness and i did so reluctantly because it could have been avoided, had i paid attention to my driving. 

I suppose being careless once in a while is given. Maybe it's His way of telling me that i should be more careful of not only driving but other stuff too. 

Thursday, January 06, 2011

35 to 50

I didn't manage to read 50 books in 2010 as I wanted to. 

I thought 50 books were not that difficult to complete but I suppose a lot of things got in the way. I am quite happy with 35, to be frank. It's still a big number - even for me. 

This year, I am trying to hit 50. I have started a book this morning. What better way to start the drive with my favorite author. It's pretty thick - 603 pages with very, very fine prints.

I think I need to start wearing reading glasses or something. My vision has started to impair due to the many readings and of course, the way I read.

So here's to 50 books to read this year - cheers!

Tuesday, January 04, 2011

Of Being Your True Self

I just realized that I am not over My Sister’s Keeper by Jodi Picoult.

The story moved me; that is sort of a given thing but there is one more thing that I kept thinking about.

The character Julia in the book was portrayed as bold, independent and strong.

I sometimes wonder what happened to me. I used to not care about what people say about me. The short-cropped hair did nothing to ease the talking, so were the t-shirts and pants. The only time I would wear a baju kurung was on the first say of raya, for the first half of the day. That was it. On any other day, I would eat, act and behave like a boy. Back then, I was in control. I decided on the who, where, how, why and when.

Who I am right now is nothing like who I was back then. I care about what people say about me. I tried several times to be who I wanted to be but more often that not, was given ‘the look' for not conforming that I stopped trying and sink in society’s standards. The standard that sucks, by the way. It defines society – maybe, but it’s doing a lot of harm to individuality.

Maybe this is how split-personality started.