Crappy Me, Crappy Day

I don’t know what’s wrong with me today. I’m all tensed and crabby all day.

I didn’t speak to both adik and kakak since last night because they’ve been throwing tantrum almost everyday since they got back from BP. They refused to get ready for school in the morning and started to cry when I rolled up my sleeves and nagged. I will then be very pissed because by the time they’re all hauled up in the car, I was pretty much late for work.

So that’s why I acted the way I did. I just thought that they should feel what it’s like to be in my shoes.

This morning, they were up early. Both were making themselves sandwiches for breakfast. I did the usual stuff – checking the locks, switching off the lights and getting the keys before leaving the house. Still not talking to them. Kakak was done with her sandwich while adik was still scooping Nutella from the jar. By the time I opened the front door, he was still not done with his bread, panicked and resorted to crouching behind the sofa with streaming tears. Kakak helped him with his sandwich. He was still crying. In fact he cried all the way to school.

I know I was mean to him. I should have helped him but like I said, I was not in the mood to be nice.

Things were bad in the office as well.

I have completed a document for my boss one day in advance (a thick one, if I might add), thinking that I might be able to use the extra day to work on the cosmetics and stuff. At 12.22pm, he emailed me saying that it was not good enough. People would not want to read it because it’s filled with details.

I was supposed to produce a user guide - wouldn’t it require details on the how-to’s?? Darn.

Then again, it was not so much of the argument but it’s how it was conveyed. It’s as if my effort was mocked. Probably he wanted to mess with me because of the transfer. We never talk about it since the CFO decided to KIV the case.

By the way, the Dutchman and my boss are still not speaking to each other. So much for being professionals. They are behaving like a bunch of 2 years old. My boss would ask me about the Dutchman and vice versa. I am stuck in between, trying my best not to side anyone. It’s just stupid and annoying.

There’s no news on the transfer and I couldn’t care less. If things get too complicated, I will think of something. Meanwhile, I will do what is expected of me and proceed with the procedures to transfer. My deliverables should not be affected by any of these.

Anyways, after receiving the email from my boss, I desperately needed a cup of toffee nut latte. I planned to have a quick lunch alone and proceed to Starbucks for it. I guess today is really not my day because it started to rain heavily while I was half way through my lunch.

So here I am. Feeling bad about being mean to my kids this morning, having my work being rejected and not getting my cup of coffee.

Plus, someone left a trail of urine on the toilet seat. Urgh! Gross!

If all those doesn’t earn me the right to feel the way I do, I don’t know what else does.