A dear friend called yesterday. She asked, 'How are you doing, friend?'
Normally I would say 'I'm okay', despite all the complaints and fuss. Not yesterday. I took me less than a second to say 'I'm not okay'. That's the truth. I was not okay. Still very much unhappy about work.
Let's forget about that. Life is not just about work. God gave us 24 hours a day to balance the important stuff in life. You just have to prioritize. Easier said than done? Sadly, I agree.
I told Amoi and Giggsy that my emotional health is very important. I don't want my kids to grow up remembering me as a grouchy, snappy, unhappy mother. Upbringing is very important. You have to mould your kids to be good people. Enjoy each day as if it's your last day on earth.
Okay. I'm starting to talk nonsense now.
At this point, I'm not in a very good state - work wise. It's just too much to handle. Not the workload, but the dirty politics and the lousy management.
Just for the record, I hate both.
On a lighter note, I have bought Mawi's CD last Sunday. I am not a hard-core fan like my nieces, my sister, my mom, my aunties and God forbid, the husbands too. I rarely buy local CDs. Normally I would look for those with good music arrangement.You know, like those kinda music that makes your car door vibrates and shakes on each note. Like the one on a CD called Jejaka Pilihan or something like that - featuring Anuar Zain, Glenn, Hazami and Ferhad. That is what I call a yummylicious music! A well-deserved 5 stars CD.
Anyways, my sister was raving on how good Mawi's album is. I read quite a number of good reviews on it as well. I decided to give it a go and I'm happy to say that it's almost as good as 'Jejaka Pilihan'. There you go, a good 4 stars to Mawi's first album.
Woopsie-daisy! Latest update - a potential World War III might blow off soon in the team. Anybody has a spare helmet?
Thursday, November 24, 2005
Monday, November 21, 2005
In a Nutshell
It’s the usual reason. Mental block. Brain freeze. Dumbfounded. Those of the sort.
Let me just put it all in a nutshell.
Raya
Raya was awesome. Was in Shah Alam since eve of raya till the next day. Was off to Batu Pahat on second day of raya. Bad traffic! This time around, I get to meet most of my cousins from my dad’s family – old and young, during a tahlil for my late grandmother. Tok Ayah suggested to have the event at our place since most of the relatives are scattered nearby. Along, Abang, Deli & I rolled the sleeves of our glamorous baju raya and slaved in the kitchen the whole night.
Did the usual round and was back in KL on the fourth day of raya. Spent 2 days at home, trying to finish my project paper. Wishful thinking!
Big chain of laundry during the weekends. Not so enticing.
Week after Raya
A handful of things to deliver to client. Managed to get it all done in time. Was supposed to go to CBJ office but cancelled at the last minute due to food poisoning. Got a shock of my life when I unintentionally read SGP project paper and found loads of error. Client was expecting the paper on Friday but PMO Director was not too happy with the quality. Ended up with a copy of the project paper for review. Yup. I had to review the paper. This is not fun.
Deli’s family day at Putrajaya Wetlands. Reached the venue at 9am, hop on the boat and off we were to the bbq and recreation area. Had light breakfast. Fun and games follow suit. Deli obviously had a good time. The kids too. Kakak was in Deli’s team for Bean-Bag race. Adik did well in Candy-for-Grabs event. Me? I had fun catching them on camera.
Stopped by Sydde’s place at BSP. Managed to catch up on things. More plans for the gang’s weekend getaway before Umie started school in Japan next April. We’re rooting for Bagan Lalang. Again!
Watched Harry Potter & The Goblet of Fire. A fine movie. Adik was a bit restless but managed to stay put till the movie ended. Had dinner at GE Mall. Was home by 9.30pm. Slogged in front of the laptop to review the project paper. Was done by 3am. Was tired but not sleepy. Must be the coffee. Did a bit of crossword puzzle before dozing off till dawn.
That was 2 and a half weeks events in a nutshell. Not bad!
Have a few more things to review. Maybe tomorrow. Am too tired now. In need of beauty sleep.
Let me just put it all in a nutshell.
Raya was awesome. Was in Shah Alam since eve of raya till the next day. Was off to Batu Pahat on second day of raya. Bad traffic! This time around, I get to meet most of my cousins from my dad’s family – old and young, during a tahlil for my late grandmother. Tok Ayah suggested to have the event at our place since most of the relatives are scattered nearby. Along, Abang, Deli & I rolled the sleeves of our glamorous baju raya and slaved in the kitchen the whole night.
Did the usual round and was back in KL on the fourth day of raya. Spent 2 days at home, trying to finish my project paper. Wishful thinking!
Big chain of laundry during the weekends. Not so enticing.
A handful of things to deliver to client. Managed to get it all done in time. Was supposed to go to CBJ office but cancelled at the last minute due to food poisoning. Got a shock of my life when I unintentionally read SGP project paper and found loads of error. Client was expecting the paper on Friday but PMO Director was not too happy with the quality. Ended up with a copy of the project paper for review. Yup. I had to review the paper. This is not fun.
Deli’s family day at Putrajaya Wetlands. Reached the venue at 9am, hop on the boat and off we were to the bbq and recreation area. Had light breakfast. Fun and games follow suit. Deli obviously had a good time. The kids too. Kakak was in Deli’s team for Bean-Bag race. Adik did well in Candy-for-Grabs event. Me? I had fun catching them on camera.
Stopped by Sydde’s place at BSP. Managed to catch up on things. More plans for the gang’s weekend getaway before Umie started school in Japan next April. We’re rooting for Bagan Lalang. Again!
Watched Harry Potter & The Goblet of Fire. A fine movie. Adik was a bit restless but managed to stay put till the movie ended. Had dinner at GE Mall. Was home by 9.30pm. Slogged in front of the laptop to review the project paper. Was done by 3am. Was tired but not sleepy. Must be the coffee. Did a bit of crossword puzzle before dozing off till dawn.
That was 2 and a half weeks events in a nutshell. Not bad!
Have a few more things to review. Maybe tomorrow. Am too tired now. In need of beauty sleep.
Thursday, November 03, 2005
Monday, October 31, 2005
Al Fatihah
Prayers for my late grandmother, Mindik bt Ismail who left us all last Thursday, of old age.
Al-Fatihah.
Al-Fatihah.
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Tears of Anguish
The team was in the Board Room today, meeting with the directors and CEO. It was ugly. Melissa had a fight with Katak. Jesse (the CEO) was practically shouting at us and told us to stop fighting with each other. Like we care. Katak was way out of line this time. She deserved the yelling rather than us.
We tried hard to back ourselves. We fought for justice but it didn’t do us any good. Along the line, Jesse said that the team must be replaced. We are the reason why the project is slipping. We are the reason why the client kept on coming back with endless reviews. We are the reason why the project is a disgrace.
I had wanted to say so much to him and Katak, especially. Jesse said we need to do things a certain way and we should have known it from the start. Only problem is, we don’t know nuts about it and nobody ever told us till this very day. Whose fault is that? Still ours? Please don’t question about our commitment towards the project. We would do whatever it takes to finalize this and deliver the services. But all of that will not happen if u don’t support and trust us. We operate based on trust. No matter what it is, we will do our job and get it done. If the client wanted to do more than just delay, it’s really out of our hands. How can we push the client when she’s only one person doing all three countries? We will push her for the things that she owes us but she can only deliver so much. Yes, it’s the client’s problem but we have to understand her problems and help to make things easier for her. Haven’t u people heard of a WIN-WIN situation? I guess not. That explains why u guys are such a**es.
Jesse asked me if I have anything to say. I didn’t see a point of voicing out my opinion any longer. It’s a waste of time and breath. In fact nobody said anything after the mentioning of replacing the team. We just lost our security blanket. Just like that.
We left the room 2 hours later.
We were very pissed with Katak and Jesse. Not to mention si Belang. She did nothing to back us up as a team nor tried to defend us. What kind of a project manager is that?
I regretted the fact that I did not say the things I wanted to say to Katak and Jesse. I just couldn’t take it anymore. Especially the smug look on Katak’s face. I won’t forget that face. Ever. Enough is enough. I was so pissed that I couldn’t contain it any longer. I was all hot inside and was trying hard to control myself but I just lost it. Instead of screaming my lungs out, I broke down. Hot, angry tears wasted on such unfortunate event. Amoi and Melissa were there to comfort me. Thanks to both of them. I couldn’t ask for better friends than u guys. Not fogetting Giggsy. She sent out an e-mail asking us all to stay strong. You guys are the best. We've known each other for less than 4 months (except for Giggsy) but we've been through a lot together. Thick and thin. I love you guys. No matter what.
We're starting to contact our friends and all. We’re getting out of this hellhole as soon as we can, if possible. There’s just no point of staying when Jesse has made it clear that he doesn't need nor want us.
By the way, Katak called me for a little discussion. She started off complimenting me before coming to the real point of the meeting. She wanted me to stay away from Melissa so that I won’t be influenced and see her as a bad person. Too late. You are a bad person and nothing could change that. I don’t need anybody to influence me on that. You are what you are.
Thank God nothing happened to me on my way home. I wasn’t paying much attention to the road. I could’ve easily hit the car before me and still not notice it. I was totally distracted. Totally.
Any of you guys need some HR people?
We tried hard to back ourselves. We fought for justice but it didn’t do us any good. Along the line, Jesse said that the team must be replaced. We are the reason why the project is slipping. We are the reason why the client kept on coming back with endless reviews. We are the reason why the project is a disgrace.
I had wanted to say so much to him and Katak, especially. Jesse said we need to do things a certain way and we should have known it from the start. Only problem is, we don’t know nuts about it and nobody ever told us till this very day. Whose fault is that? Still ours? Please don’t question about our commitment towards the project. We would do whatever it takes to finalize this and deliver the services. But all of that will not happen if u don’t support and trust us. We operate based on trust. No matter what it is, we will do our job and get it done. If the client wanted to do more than just delay, it’s really out of our hands. How can we push the client when she’s only one person doing all three countries? We will push her for the things that she owes us but she can only deliver so much. Yes, it’s the client’s problem but we have to understand her problems and help to make things easier for her. Haven’t u people heard of a WIN-WIN situation? I guess not. That explains why u guys are such a**es.
Jesse asked me if I have anything to say. I didn’t see a point of voicing out my opinion any longer. It’s a waste of time and breath. In fact nobody said anything after the mentioning of replacing the team. We just lost our security blanket. Just like that.
We left the room 2 hours later.
We were very pissed with Katak and Jesse. Not to mention si Belang. She did nothing to back us up as a team nor tried to defend us. What kind of a project manager is that?
I regretted the fact that I did not say the things I wanted to say to Katak and Jesse. I just couldn’t take it anymore. Especially the smug look on Katak’s face. I won’t forget that face. Ever. Enough is enough. I was so pissed that I couldn’t contain it any longer. I was all hot inside and was trying hard to control myself but I just lost it. Instead of screaming my lungs out, I broke down. Hot, angry tears wasted on such unfortunate event. Amoi and Melissa were there to comfort me. Thanks to both of them. I couldn’t ask for better friends than u guys. Not fogetting Giggsy. She sent out an e-mail asking us all to stay strong. You guys are the best. We've known each other for less than 4 months (except for Giggsy) but we've been through a lot together. Thick and thin. I love you guys. No matter what.
We're starting to contact our friends and all. We’re getting out of this hellhole as soon as we can, if possible. There’s just no point of staying when Jesse has made it clear that he doesn't need nor want us.
By the way, Katak called me for a little discussion. She started off complimenting me before coming to the real point of the meeting. She wanted me to stay away from Melissa so that I won’t be influenced and see her as a bad person. Too late. You are a bad person and nothing could change that. I don’t need anybody to influence me on that. You are what you are.
Thank God nothing happened to me on my way home. I wasn’t paying much attention to the road. I could’ve easily hit the car before me and still not notice it. I was totally distracted. Totally.
Any of you guys need some HR people?
Monday, October 17, 2005
Bitten by the Tsetse Fly
Sleepyyy!
In fact the whole team is! This is serious! The tsetse flies might have given us the 'love-bite'. Damn u flies. *Big yawn*
Saturday saw me spring-cleaned the kitchen, especially the fridge! In and out of it. In the fridge - loads of left overs from iftar plus a lot of other things that i can't even remember buying. Not to be missed are the goodies from numerous birthday parties the Monsters Inc. attended. Enough goodies to open our own version of Honeydukes (candy shop in Hogsmead from Harry Potter series). Outside the fridge - took down kakak and adik's drawings from the fridge's door along with other important phone numbers scribbled in Deli's handwriting. Most important number - Barona shop (for cooking gas). Now, i just have to get an adhesive album and stick all the drawings in there.
Deli had to work on Saturday and i was too lazy to drag the Monsters Inc to shopping malls. I hate crowds especially weekend-shopping-malls-crowds. I ended up bossing them to tidy their loft and toys. They had cornetto ice cream as rewards while i had to watch them eat. Kakak had 2 cornettos in 1 go - vanilla in her left hand and chocolate in her right hand. She did get some yakking from me, no doubt. Serves her right for being so tamak haloba (greedy).
Spent Sunday at Ikea, in-laws, Subang Parade and finally Corus hotel for iftar. Food was good and abundant, as always. I guess food doesn't really matter as long as u're with great company. The kids obviously had a great time frequenting to the food stalls. They tried telur masin (preserved egg - right?) for the first time yesterday and they loved it! Glad that they enjoyed the food.
We were exhausted when we got home last night. The kids went to bed at 10.30 while Deli and I stayed on for another hour.
We're going back to BP this Friday. Along has arranged iftar cum Tok Mak's birthday dinner at Katrina. Can't wait!
By the way, a friend of mine delivered 3 boxes of fire sputters on Saturday. No King Cats though. I love King Cats. Used to bent the handles into hooks and hang them on Tok Mak's mango tree - it was my so-called Christmas tree.
Any of you know where I can get some King Cats?
In fact the whole team is! This is serious! The tsetse flies might have given us the 'love-bite'. Damn u flies. *Big yawn*
Saturday saw me spring-cleaned the kitchen, especially the fridge! In and out of it. In the fridge - loads of left overs from iftar plus a lot of other things that i can't even remember buying. Not to be missed are the goodies from numerous birthday parties the Monsters Inc. attended. Enough goodies to open our own version of Honeydukes (candy shop in Hogsmead from Harry Potter series). Outside the fridge - took down kakak and adik's drawings from the fridge's door along with other important phone numbers scribbled in Deli's handwriting. Most important number - Barona shop (for cooking gas). Now, i just have to get an adhesive album and stick all the drawings in there.
Deli had to work on Saturday and i was too lazy to drag the Monsters Inc to shopping malls. I hate crowds especially weekend-shopping-malls-crowds. I ended up bossing them to tidy their loft and toys. They had cornetto ice cream as rewards while i had to watch them eat. Kakak had 2 cornettos in 1 go - vanilla in her left hand and chocolate in her right hand. She did get some yakking from me, no doubt. Serves her right for being so tamak haloba (greedy).
Spent Sunday at Ikea, in-laws, Subang Parade and finally Corus hotel for iftar. Food was good and abundant, as always. I guess food doesn't really matter as long as u're with great company. The kids obviously had a great time frequenting to the food stalls. They tried telur masin (preserved egg - right?) for the first time yesterday and they loved it! Glad that they enjoyed the food.
We were exhausted when we got home last night. The kids went to bed at 10.30 while Deli and I stayed on for another hour.
We're going back to BP this Friday. Along has arranged iftar cum Tok Mak's birthday dinner at Katrina. Can't wait!
By the way, a friend of mine delivered 3 boxes of fire sputters on Saturday. No King Cats though. I love King Cats. Used to bent the handles into hooks and hang them on Tok Mak's mango tree - it was my so-called Christmas tree.
Any of you know where I can get some King Cats?
Friday, October 14, 2005
The Rage and more!
A lot had happened these past few days that I don't even know where to begin yakking about.
First thing first, I’m supposed to get my confirmation of employment letter last week. Normally, this is not that big-a-deal to me as long as I get the letter. Not this time. There's some conflict going on right now. I was hired as a PA and was bumped up to an FC role in August (a month or so after I joined the company). There was no black and white when they announced this but there were at least 10 people in the boardroom when it happened, including the CEO. I was presented as an FC to the clients from Singapore and Hong Kong and I was in the FC box during the project kick-off presentation meeting with both parties. If I’m not an FC, then by all means tell me so and don't use my name as and when necessary just to complete the team!
And don't get me started with si Belang coz she really sucks!
PS Singapore mailed us all training schedule for quarter 4 a few days ago. Si Belang e-mailed us about it and asked us to go for the relevant trainings (not that we really need it) coz she expects us to become so-called-experts in PS and work independently from then on. Woman, which alien planet did u come from?? This is what happened when you don't bother checking the team's background! The team were hired because we have the knowledge and background in PS. Si Belang is the only one without PS experience and therefore, she should be attending the trainings instead of us! And what is this crap about being independent? We are the only team with PS knowledge in the company - how independent does she want us to be?? Independent enough that we can do our own installation? Configure the server ourselves? If we could do that, we might as well work with PS or any PS vendors rather than this company! Jeez!
We're not afraid of your threats and if this is how you run the team, we suggest that you stop doing it. If u want us to respect u as a PM, please learn to respect us as well. Respect is earned, not something that can u shop in Giant.
Actually, it's not just the e-mail. She has proved that she's a spy as well. How did we know? We kinda run some tests on her. Sadly, she failed all of them with bright striking colors.
Am really looking forward to the weekends. This whole week has been awful, sickening and full of rage for the team. We need time to rejuvenate and be prepared of whatever is in store for us next week.
But before that, we need to face another possible disaster in 20 minutes.
Board Room, here we come!
First thing first, I’m supposed to get my confirmation of employment letter last week. Normally, this is not that big-a-deal to me as long as I get the letter. Not this time. There's some conflict going on right now. I was hired as a PA and was bumped up to an FC role in August (a month or so after I joined the company). There was no black and white when they announced this but there were at least 10 people in the boardroom when it happened, including the CEO. I was presented as an FC to the clients from Singapore and Hong Kong and I was in the FC box during the project kick-off presentation meeting with both parties. If I’m not an FC, then by all means tell me so and don't use my name as and when necessary just to complete the team!
And don't get me started with si Belang coz she really sucks!
PS Singapore mailed us all training schedule for quarter 4 a few days ago. Si Belang e-mailed us about it and asked us to go for the relevant trainings (not that we really need it) coz she expects us to become so-called-experts in PS and work independently from then on. Woman, which alien planet did u come from?? This is what happened when you don't bother checking the team's background! The team were hired because we have the knowledge and background in PS. Si Belang is the only one without PS experience and therefore, she should be attending the trainings instead of us! And what is this crap about being independent? We are the only team with PS knowledge in the company - how independent does she want us to be?? Independent enough that we can do our own installation? Configure the server ourselves? If we could do that, we might as well work with PS or any PS vendors rather than this company! Jeez!
We're not afraid of your threats and if this is how you run the team, we suggest that you stop doing it. If u want us to respect u as a PM, please learn to respect us as well. Respect is earned, not something that can u shop in Giant.
Actually, it's not just the e-mail. She has proved that she's a spy as well. How did we know? We kinda run some tests on her. Sadly, she failed all of them with bright striking colors.
Am really looking forward to the weekends. This whole week has been awful, sickening and full of rage for the team. We need time to rejuvenate and be prepared of whatever is in store for us next week.
But before that, we need to face another possible disaster in 20 minutes.
Board Room, here we come!
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Si Belang Meets the Team
Had a brief meeting with si Belang today. Second impression? Not so good either. In fact, it didn't improve at all. I rated her 4/10 yesterday - ten being an ideal PM. Her rate dropped to 3.8 today. Amoi rated her 2.5 while Giggsy gave her zilch.
How about that?
Akiko is leaving on the 14th. It's just sad. We love her so much for all the guidance and the faith she have in us. We feel motivated and it's like finally, someone understands our problem and agrees with us. It's a big loss for the team.
Si Belang had plans to restructure the team. I think it's good ONLY IF u're just starting the project. We're in the midst of finalizing the project papers, for goodness sake! We don't have time for this. Bad enough that the project's delayed by more than a month! This is just insane.
Best of all, she said YOU BELONG TO ME. Yuck! You're not my mother.
How about that?
Akiko is leaving on the 14th. It's just sad. We love her so much for all the guidance and the faith she have in us. We feel motivated and it's like finally, someone understands our problem and agrees with us. It's a big loss for the team.
Si Belang had plans to restructure the team. I think it's good ONLY IF u're just starting the project. We're in the midst of finalizing the project papers, for goodness sake! We don't have time for this. Bad enough that the project's delayed by more than a month! This is just insane.
Best of all, she said YOU BELONG TO ME. Yuck! You're not my mother.
Monday, October 10, 2005
Si Belang in the House
The new PM is here. I'll give her a nick later.
First impression - a bit snobbish, serious and speaks of strictly business.
Then again, it's just my first impression. Most of the time, my gut-feel conveyed the right message. Let's just hope i'm wrong this time coz if she is, it spells trouble for the team. We've just had too much going on lately and we don't need new problems clogging our brain cells.
I need to go early today. In the mood to cook for breakfasting.
I know! Let's just call her Si Belang coz she's wearing stripy shirt today. There you go. Si Belang it is.
Crossing our fingers that she's a good person and not another Cruella in the making!
First impression - a bit snobbish, serious and speaks of strictly business.
Then again, it's just my first impression. Most of the time, my gut-feel conveyed the right message. Let's just hope i'm wrong this time coz if she is, it spells trouble for the team. We've just had too much going on lately and we don't need new problems clogging our brain cells.
I need to go early today. In the mood to cook for breakfasting.
I know! Let's just call her Si Belang coz she's wearing stripy shirt today. There you go. Si Belang it is.
Crossing our fingers that she's a good person and not another Cruella in the making!
Friday, October 07, 2005
A Day in Ramadhan
Kakak had slight fever 2 days ago. She's okay now but i need to keep monitoring her temp and continue to give her supplementary vitamins. U can't be too careful nowadays especially when dengue is becoming an epidemic.
Was bored to the skull these past few days. I almost dozed off - no wait. I did dozed off for a couple of minutes. I missed my regular sessions with Akiko, Melissa, Giggsy and Amoi.
First day of fasting saw us having spaghetti for 'berbuka'. A smaller portion of chinese fried rice upon the kids request. Rain hindered us from buying good food from Pasar Ramadhan on that day. Hope we'll be able to buy something from there today. It's not raining - that's a good sign. Hoping that i'll be able to leave the office early today. Left around 6.50pm yesterday and the roads were super clear. Nice! Took me 15 mins (only!) to reach the nursery, at exactly Maghrib. Deli reached home 10 mins later.
Called Tok Mak yesterday. She had a lot to say, i tell you. It's been a week since my last call. She wanted us to go back to BP but Deli's working tomorrow, so this weekend's not good for us. Maybe the next 2 weekends when Deli's not working. Can't wait. I know the kids would love the trip back to their gramps'.
Today's Friday. Normally it's our shopping-day. Since it's Ramadhan, i'd prefer to leave the office early rather than spend lunch time window-shopping in KLCC.
It's only 11am! I'm so bored. I need to find some sort of entertainment to last me through the day. Hmm.
Was bored to the skull these past few days. I almost dozed off - no wait. I did dozed off for a couple of minutes. I missed my regular sessions with Akiko, Melissa, Giggsy and Amoi.
First day of fasting saw us having spaghetti for 'berbuka'. A smaller portion of chinese fried rice upon the kids request. Rain hindered us from buying good food from Pasar Ramadhan on that day. Hope we'll be able to buy something from there today. It's not raining - that's a good sign. Hoping that i'll be able to leave the office early today. Left around 6.50pm yesterday and the roads were super clear. Nice! Took me 15 mins (only!) to reach the nursery, at exactly Maghrib. Deli reached home 10 mins later.
Called Tok Mak yesterday. She had a lot to say, i tell you. It's been a week since my last call. She wanted us to go back to BP but Deli's working tomorrow, so this weekend's not good for us. Maybe the next 2 weekends when Deli's not working. Can't wait. I know the kids would love the trip back to their gramps'.
Today's Friday. Normally it's our shopping-day. Since it's Ramadhan, i'd prefer to leave the office early rather than spend lunch time window-shopping in KLCC.
It's only 11am! I'm so bored. I need to find some sort of entertainment to last me through the day. Hmm.
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