Single Parent

Took a day off yesterday. I was (still am) so worried about kakak. Her temperature roller-coastered from 38 to 40 degrees since the last three days. I hadn't had a full 8 hours sleep since then. Her meds were due during the wee hours (the one to be taken every few hours)and when the temp shot to 39 or more, sponging were in tow.

Now i know how hard it is to be a single parent. It's just so easy to lose your grip when everything, every pain and burden are for you to carry alone. I had new level of respect for these people now. I've always read how Mak Andeh talked about the pain, how hard it was to raise kids on your own and the sort. I could never comprehend the feeling till i had to go through it on my own.

I know now how Tok Mak has suffered all these years. How she endured the pain, making sure that the three of us are protected and to never suffer the way that she had to. She is one strong woman. I don't know if i have half her strength.

People change. They just do. I know Deli would too someday but i pray and hope that he will not stop loving and caring for us or appreciate us any less than he does today. Tok Ayah loved us all but along the way, we had to share it with some strangers. You thought you know someone so well. You actually don't. Coz people change.

On a lighter note, i have finished reading Undomestic Goddess. It's one h*ll of a book, i tell ya! It's as interesting as Can U Keep A Secret. Great book! Sophie Kinsella has done it again - bravo!

Brought the kids to Jusco for some shopping. Kakak automatically switched to 'healthy' mode by the mention of SHOPPING and JUSCO. They really had a blast and cost me $300 on toys, clothes and yes, umbrellas. Kakak said the adult umbrella is a hassle (adik agreed) and decided to be independent and buy themselves kiddies umbrellas featuring Winnie the Pooh. I let them decide on the stuff they want but they keep coming back to me for opinion - should i buy this instead of that, which color is nicer and the sort. It's like watching myself shopping with Deli. It was worth the $300.

The haze has magically dissapeared today. It's a miracle!