He's leaving me..

Yup. He's leaving. Again. Maybe for 3 weeks in each April and May or for the full 2 months. Really hate this. Any suggestion from those whose husbands are overseas all the time? Cik Merry, any tips?

I thought i should have been used to this by now. He's done trips like this every year. I remembered the first time he had to go to Auckland. I missed him so much that it really, really hurts. I was still in my first trimester then and it was awfully painful living the full week by myself.

The pain has yet to subside when he had to leave for Sydney. A few days before the trip, there were some stainings and we went to see Dr Aziz. Did a scan and thankfully, the baby was fine. Had to see Dr Aziz again in a week's time to see how it goes.

And he left for Sydney. For another long week.

Eventually, the staining stopped and the week was up. I had a friend accompanied me to see Dr Aziz. The scan showed nothing more but a lump of blood. I was shocked. It was even more unfortunate that i have no shoulders to cry on.

Called him afterwards and it was the longest 5 minutes of my life. I didn't know how to break the news to him. Didn't know how to even stopped myself from crying. He kinda knew what had happened and was back in KL the day after. Had a D&C a day after his arrival.

Somehow, i know it was a girl. Don't know how but i just know it.

Four months later, i missed my regular menses. Nine months after that, i was holding a beautiful baby girl.


2004 Song of the Year - Daughters by John Mayer


I know a girl
She puts the color inside of my world
But she's just like a maze
Where all of the walls all continually change
And I've done all I can
To stand on her steps with my heart in my hands
Now I'm starting to see
Maybe it's got nothing to do with me
Fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too
Oh, you see that skin?
It's the same she's been standing in
Since the day she saw him walking away
Now she's left
Cleaning up the mess he made
So fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too
Boys, you can break
You'll find out how much they can take
Boys will be strong
And boys soldier on
But boys would be gone without the warmth from
A womans good, good heart
On behalf of every man
Looking out for every girl
You are the god and the weight of her world
So fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too